After my last trip home in May, I said I wouldn’t be coming back. It was just too difficult of an adjustment for me to go back and forth… I live in such a different world down there. I guess the universe/God/whatever higher power you believe in had other plans for me.
Not long after I wrote my last blog, I received terrible news. My dad’s sister, Aunt Pam, 52 years old, has been told that she has only a few weeks to live. She has cancer – originally of the gallbladder, now in the liver – and apparently there is nothing they can do to save her life.
My family is having a reunion this week for Pam. I hate to think of it as my last opportunity to see her, but that’s what it feels like to me. Romeo, the country director for Peace Corps in the DR, was such an angel when I called to ask for permission to go home on such sort notice. He told me to take as long as I needed and then comforted me with words of support and love. Each of my friends in my community also gave me words of encouragement and hugs as I said goodbye and embarked on my 9-day trip to the US.
I’m home now, spending time with Dad’s family and Aunt Pam, hurting, crying, laughing and loving, going on hikes, playing cards, watching the Olympics – just doing whatever to pass the time together. It has been a very difficult thing for me to process. Sometimes I just don’t know how handle the sadness that overcomes me when I think of her leaving us. I know my dad is hurting right now, and I’m trying to be there for him, although at times I feel so helpless, like nothing I say or do can make it better. But, I feel so lucky to have this time together, and so grateful that I can easily come home when I need to. I know how much it means to Aunt Pam that we’re all here with her.
Not long after I wrote my last blog, I received terrible news. My dad’s sister, Aunt Pam, 52 years old, has been told that she has only a few weeks to live. She has cancer – originally of the gallbladder, now in the liver – and apparently there is nothing they can do to save her life.
My family is having a reunion this week for Pam. I hate to think of it as my last opportunity to see her, but that’s what it feels like to me. Romeo, the country director for Peace Corps in the DR, was such an angel when I called to ask for permission to go home on such sort notice. He told me to take as long as I needed and then comforted me with words of support and love. Each of my friends in my community also gave me words of encouragement and hugs as I said goodbye and embarked on my 9-day trip to the US.
I’m home now, spending time with Dad’s family and Aunt Pam, hurting, crying, laughing and loving, going on hikes, playing cards, watching the Olympics – just doing whatever to pass the time together. It has been a very difficult thing for me to process. Sometimes I just don’t know how handle the sadness that overcomes me when I think of her leaving us. I know my dad is hurting right now, and I’m trying to be there for him, although at times I feel so helpless, like nothing I say or do can make it better. But, I feel so lucky to have this time together, and so grateful that I can easily come home when I need to. I know how much it means to Aunt Pam that we’re all here with her.
(This picture is of my Aunt Pam behind her sister Mary. We hiked Mt. Pinnacle in Little Rock at Pam's request TWICE and she beat everyone up the mountain both times. She's amaing.)I also will be visiting my mother this trip... a kind of regrouping time, which is much needed after such an emotional visit at my dad's. I'm looking forward to time alone at my mom's (which is sometimes difficult to find in my site, with neighbors and kids dropping by whenever they feel like it) and learning from this sad time about what life, especially in the face of death, means to me.
Please keep my aunt in your thoughts/prayers. And remember that life is so short (shorter for some of us than others); live it to its fullest, with no regrets. Drink that third margarita; eat some chocolate cake; be nice to strangers; dance, dance, dance; splurge on a sexy pair of heels; help someone in need; go on a spontaneous road trip; love like you will never get hurt; enjoy every minute you have. You just never know when it’s your last.
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1 comments:
From time to time I scan the DR PCV blogs and remember all my experiences and memories. You see I was a DR PCV 84-86. Coming from small town AR it was my first international experience and opened the world up to me. This is your time to live and learn and I urge you soak up every moment. I pray for the comfort, strength, and healing for your Aunt Pam.
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